It is well known that Jean and I are tireless academics. For many years we have been doing research on how dogs communicate. What we have discovered is that many animals, especially dogs, engage in mind to mind communication. Experiments by others have shown that dogs pick up thoughts from their masters. Rupert Sheldrake of the United Kingdom has demonstrated time and time again that dogs can read their owners minds.
But how is this accomplished? With sophisticated electronic equipment we have discovered the existence of thought waves. Dogs transmit and receive thought waves all along their spine to the tips of their tails. Human beings transmit and receive waves also very weakly. Humans have very weak receiving and transmitting capabilities due to the limits of our vestigial tails. What is difficult for man is simple for dogs. Just as dogs have better olfactory facilities, their transmitting and receiving capabilities are highly developed and highly efficient. Also, with mind to mind communication it is all images and impressions moving back and forth. There are no words. Humans transmit and receive but are not aware of what is happening.
What is amazing is the strength of the waves that leave a dogs tail. Thought waves, unlike light waves, move from any point in the universe to any other point instantaneously. It is literally possible for dogs to communicate with alien lifeforms living millions of light years away.
Sadly, dogs have a very limited ability to communicate with their human counterparts. Even though dogs are using the secrets of the universe they clearly are not aware of the importance of what they are doing. Current plans are underway to develop methods to use dogs like telegraph machines to communicate with foreign beings. Inter species communication has not been developed enough for humans to express their wishes to a dog or to interpret a dogs response. These things are a work in progress but we have good start.
Disclaimer: This is a fake news story. Like most fake news stories, parts of it are true. Most of the world has never read a fake news story so we made one as a sample. Rupert Sheldrake however is a genuine research scientist who has actually done enormous research which is highly sophisticated and very enlightening.
Because this is fake news, the Curbside Jimmy tune featured is A Lie Will Get You By.